It's 2020: Have things really changed for women?

                         

Women's Day is almost here! Women’s rights and gender equality are taking centre stage in 2020. Are they?

The world is changing for women or has changed or has been changing since time immemorial or since Eve ate that bloody apple, cocking a snook at Adam and maybe even God...who knows?

So, of course change is the only constant and the only thing you can look forward to. And it was time, I felt, to finally address the topic of how women's lives have changed over centuries. I haven't wanted to before because sadly, I couldn't decide what my stance was on this very controversial topic of women rights et al.

Now, they say and I agree you can never imagine what someone else is going through until and unless you have gone through it yourself. So, the issue of women aggressively fighting for their rights, issues, and in some cases lives was something I didn't completely understand because I was of the opinion that most of them were doing it wrong. Asking for reservations, special treatment, demeaning the other gender was and is according to me deeming yourself weak instead of empowering yourself and obtaining equal opportunity on your own merit.

As a woman, I really can't say I have had to struggle too much. I had a happy childhood, lived the life I wanted to without too many restrictions except those that were normal parental ones, married a man who has always pushed me to better myself and fulfill my ambitions and met men who were nice people who didn't challenge my identity just because I was a woman. As a human, on the other hand, the struggle has been mind boggling, a pain in the ass and sometimes so overwhelming that I would have happily given up on life. But never have I ever felt the need to blame the setbacks or the ups and downs of my life on my gender.

But then again, like I said earlier 'change is the only constant in life.' The mind numbing, agony of being a woman who is sidelined, not respected, not heard, told not to speak or react, not follow their passions, in a man's world hit me hard recently when during an important meeting and moment, all the men in the meeting decided to ignore my inputs, not let me speak and in the end decided on the outcome (though positive and bearing a huge impact on me) without once bothering even to maintain eye contact with me. I sat there head bowed, having given up on trying to say something, a mute spectator to the goings on of the very important stuff the men thought only they were competent enough to discuss.

I was hurt, deeply embarrassed and for the first time questioned my abilities and competence as a human. It struck me then that it was not my competence as a human that the men had ignored but it was my abilities linked to my identity as a woman that made them feel I was not important enough to be heard. There was a barrier that I had never noticed before, that shook me up. The very same barrier that is so natural for men and some women had never obstructed my path ever before, brought up feelings of disappointment and frustration I now believe I had suppressed all my life.

Women have over centuries broken down this so-called barrier and thwarted society's attempt to 'keep them in their place', many we know about and celebrate and many we know nothing about. Take the imaginary TV character of Mrs Maisel from The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, who stood up to anyone who tried to get in her way of fulfilling her ambition of becoming a career comic in the 1960s, to the character played by actor Tapsee Pannu in the film called 'Thappad', who decides to divorce her husband once she realises the foundation of the marriage was shaky; with no respect and equality, she decides she didn't want to be a part of it anymore, to real life heroes like Kiran Bedi, who became the first police officer in the 1970s, to freedom fighters, women politicians, social workers, educators, CEOs and so many others who defy all odds to do what they want to do in the name of passion, ambition and need.

As I breezed through 3 seasons of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel set in 1960s America and the movie Thappad set in 2020, I realised unfortunately that the world hasn't really changed. Not as much as it should have, for all strata of women. Whether you are a woman who is ambitious or not, whether you are a career woman or a homemaker, whether you are a maid or a CEO, gender specific bias and expectations haven't changed much over time.

If you are a woman who dares to dream of stepping into a domain considered to be only men's, you better be prepared. Not because you are not good at your job but because well you are a woman. Simply, because the achievement of full gender equality for women the world over has still not been realised. A gender pay gap persists across the globe and women are still not present in equal numbers in business or politics. Figures show that globally, women’s education, health and violence towards women is still worse than that of men.

According to a 2017 report by the World Economic Forum, it could still take another 100 years before the global equality gap between men and women disappears entirely.

So, while we celebrate yet another Women's Day, celebrating womanhood, it is time to shake up the world, shake up the well-established mindsets of people - men and women, shake up our system, shake up our parenting style and realise that in the end it is all about respect and empathy.