It wasn’t their words that hurt me. It was my reaction to them.

                                                       

 

“You don’t know what you’re doing. You need to do better.”

It wasn’t just the words. It was the sharp tone, the way they were said — loud and mean. The sting of being called out like that.

My heart pounded. My face burned. My mind spun with a hundred retorts I didn’t say.

And inside? I crumbled.

For days, I replayed that moment in my head. Overanalysed every word, every look, every tiny detail.

Why did they say that? Did I really mess up? Was I not good enough?

And the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.

Then, it hit me.

It wasn’t their words that hurt me. It was my reaction to them.

Viktor Frankl once said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

That day, I didn’t just lose my peace — I handed it over.

I couldn’t control what they said. But I could control what I did with it.

But How Do You Actually Stop Letting Words Hurt You?

Let’s be honest — saying “don’t let it get to you” is easy. But how do you actually stop letting words affect you? How do you distance yourself from opinions and people that harm your mental peace?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Create Distance — Mentally and Physically

I’ve learned to step away — from toxic conversations, from people who drain my energy, and even from my own spiral of overthinking. I physically remove myself from spaces that harm my mental peace. If that means walking away, muting notifications, or choosing silence over engagement, I do it.

2. Ask Yourself: “Does This Matter in Five Years?”

Not every battle is worth fighting. When I find myself drowning in someone’s opinion, I ask: Will I even remember this five years from now? 99% of the time, the answer is no.

3. Stop Trying to Change People

I used to believe that if I explained myself, if I reasoned, if I just tried harder, people would see my side. They don’t. And they won’t. Some people thrive on criticism. Some people are just looking for a reaction. And some people don’t even realise the impact of their words. It’s not my job to change them — it’s my job to not let them change me.

4. Protect Your Mental Well-being at All Costs

I don’t engage in arguments that cost me my peace. I don’t entertain negativity that drains me. Anything that harms my mental well-being is not worth it anymore. That’s how I survive. That’s how I function. Because I can’t afford to let anxiety paralyse me.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Let Go

I used to hold onto hurt like a badge of honor, replaying moments in my head like they were proof of something. Proof of my failure? My unworthiness? I don’t know. But I do know this — holding onto pain doesn’t serve me. So now, I give myself permission to let go.

Final Thought?

Their opinion isn’t my identity. My reaction is my choice.

I choose to walk away from what doesn’t serve me.
I choose my mental peace over the need to be right.
I choose to survive and move forward.

And that choice? That’s where real strength lies.