ANOTHER -ISM WE CAN DO WITHOUT!

                                   

So, age shaming or ageism as it can be called is actually a thing. I had never thought of it nor heard of it till I googled it a few days ago. What prompted me to do so was a simple comment from someone who I believe was trying to compliment me. Now she didn't say anything to me directly but did so to my good friend who was most affronted by her remark and berated her for being what in her view was stupid.   

                                

What she said was nothing new albeit something similar to what many of us have said or say commonly, sometime or the other in our lives. "Oh, she looks so good for her age," "she doesn't look old at all," or the comment which had my friend up in arms - "she runs everyday, she is so regular even at her age." 

When I first heard about the conversation, I couldn't help but laugh and tell my friend it was nothing to be offended about because I was certain the young lady in question was only trying to pay a compliment in her own way. It was only later when it hit me - a chance remark at something someone said about my grey hair (which I have plenty of since I was 9 thanks to heredity) - and I exclaimed "oh yes, I am quite old, I suppose it suits me now", that I realised something was off here.

              

What does suit 'people of my age'? Is running or working out at my age not suitable for people my age? Is it such an uncommon thing to be running or working out at 45 years of age and being so disciplined about it? 

What were 45 year old women supposed to do then? Go about their dull, dreary, tired lives watching daily soaps and looking after their homes and grown up children? Maybe attend kitty parties dressed in dull sarees and salwar kameez? Visit salons every week for facials and hair touch ups to ensure we don't look our age? 

Is that how the world looks at women who are well past their youth? Are their boundaries I and others like me are crossing we were not meant to? Are their rules for such things? Is their stuff I need to stop doing because I am old? Are they telling us something we old ones don't seem to be listening. 

"More than half your life is over, please stand away from the tracks of the fast moving lives of our youth."

I remember grilling my parents when I was a teenager about how they felt now that they were not so young anymore. And I also remember my father telling me he felt no different from when he was in his teenage years. I understand that only now. And so will the young lady who feels so amazed at older people like me being active and belying well-set age defined behaviour. 

"I am old but I am forever young at heart. We are always the same age inside. Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it’s a privilege denied to many!”

– Richard Gere

Older people are generally considered to be over the hill or past it...past what I ask? There's only a few things we have left behind...we are well past the stupidity, naivety, irresponsibility, brazenness and arrogance of the youth, I say. And I am glad. It's only now in my 40's that I feel my life has actually begun. Youth is wasted on the youth and there's no doubt about that.

              

So for all those who feel 'they have to dress their age', 'talk their age', 'eat their age', 'dance their age', 'exercise their age', 'work their age', 'date their age', think again - feel again because older people (in years and wisdom) themselves are ageists and are guilty of following stereotypes that harm them the most.

              

Age is just a number and you didn't hear it here. Stereotypes of all sort are harmful and age discrimination is the least addressed of all. But believe me, it does exist. To all those who believe they are in their declining years, I plead - don't entrap yourself, don't set boundaries for yourself when and where there are none. You are never too old to follow your dreams and accomplish your goals! Don't get bogged down by age old dogma! 

And for all those too young to comprehend the concept of 'being old', I say, remember you are not going to be young forever and as the birthdays accumulate, don't let the numbers overwhelm you and don't rein in yourself. Life is and will be wonderful whether you see it from the eyes of the young or the old. Nothing changes if you don't let it - don't let your age change you except for the better, don't let it define you, and don't internalise stereotypes. Some are born old while some remain young at 90. Only your thoughts and prejudices have the power to define you. 

There are so many vital issues that plague us. Let's not create another!