GOING BACK TO THE KITCHEN
“When my kids came
home, there was music, and there were lights on, and there were great smells
coming out of the kitchen,” he said. “And
it was just a joyful place to be, and that’s what I wanted,” said Rick
Moranis opening up about his retirement from movies.
The other day I came across an
article on Rick Moranis, the guy I knew from Ghostbusters and Honey! I Shrunk
the Kids. Wondering what happened to him after all these years, I read the article.
The article mentioned how after his wife’s passing, Rick Moranis fled
filmmaking entirely, leaving behind an unimpeachable legacy. He’d been
unofficially backing out of Hollywood for several years before that, since the
death of his wife to breast cancer, and then suddenly, arguably at the peak of
his career, Moranis just … vanished.
He just quit! The article quotes
Rick as saying that having had a wonderful childhood himself, he wanted to
recreate that for his own kids who had lost their mother.
Wow…how many people can do that.
Yes, you might say, he had the means to be at home looking after his kids and
didn’t have to work because he needed to earn money but really, even then,
how many of you out there can quit a career you are doing marvelously at and
earning pots of money too.
There is something to say about
that staying at home, making it a wonderful place for the children to grow and
thrive in. It certainly struck a chord with me. I am a stay at home mother too
but I won’t say I work as a homemaker day and night, cooking and cleaning. I
pick up freelance assignments, I work-out, I socialise, I write… while most of
the homemaker chores are done by my two trusted shall I say assistants. Now, I
have trained them so fine that they really don’t need any supervision and the
house runs like a well-oiled machine, at least most of the time. I am more of a
delegator and supervisor than a homemaker actually, who does all the back-breaking
work herself. The dictionary defines a homemaker as ‘a wife who manages a
household while her husband earns the family income,’ and I do just that,
manage the house, leaving all the arduous and laborious tasks to my ‘assistants’.
This includes, cleaning, laundry, cooking, gardening and so much more all you people
know well enough.
A few years ago, I had gone through
what I can only describe as a ‘horrid horrid phase’ struggling with myself and
my place in the world. And as much as it upset me, it was my family which was
the worst affected. But as the cliché goes…each time the sun sets into a dark
dark night, it rises to a better and brighter morning.
What helped me out of the dark
phase was involving myself in my family and home. I immersed myself in cooking,
cleaning, the kids, their school and homework, fitness of the whole family, my
work, but more importantly, I kicked off the bad habit of depending on my help.
I began by cooking in the mornings for my kids (my kids need 3 tiffins each),
my husband’s and my mother in law’s breakfast, cleaning the kitchen, and making
the beds.
Not much, just a small part of the
daily chores, but this brought about a whole lot of difference to our lives at
home. The children were happy, more helpful, less demanding because it was
their mother who was cooking now. I could even involve them in some of the
chores at home in the guise of helping me, I could supervise and manage better
because I knew what was going on in the kitchen, my husband and mother in law were
more accommodating and cooperative too, impressed that I was taking on some of
the cooking and cleaning, over and above the tasks of looking after the kids
and their needs and my professional work. My husband has never learnt to cook
but he makes sure he stands next to me to help me or just give me company. My 8-year-old
also has developed a passion for cooking, his favourite being pancakes on
Sunday mornings. All of us therefore ended up spending a lot of time together
as a family. Simple pleasurable moments…this has all of course brought us
closer, helped me get a hold of myself, made me sort out a lot of my issues. I
now take pride and delight in the simple things in life.
Many told me that doing these
chores at home will soon get old and that they are a big waste of time especially
when we have help and that we have more important things to do like going out to
work, going to the gym, shopping, partying…but I must admit I have not
developed a hatred towards the so called menial tasks I have to do every day.
Many others do it…cooking for the whole family before they leave for office and
then coming back tired and exhausted but still finding deep within themselves
the strength to cook, clean and spend quality time with their kids, all on
their volition. While most perform most of their homemaking chores because they
have no other choice, there are many who are homemakers because they love
making their homes a loving and warm place for their families.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not
saying others who don’t find enjoyment in cooking or cleaning and leave it to
their help are doing any less or anything wrong. Everyone needs to find what
they want to do and derive satisfaction from it in their own way. I also don't
want my boys to grow up thinking a woman's only role is in the kitchen and that
they shouldn't have to help out around the house just because their dad goes
out to work and I stay at home. Like I mentioned before, seeing me and their
dad working in the house has taught them to do their own chores and help out
more. I also plan to teach them how to do their own laundry, clean up after
themselves and cook, because these aren't inherently female skills.
What Rick
Moranis did for his children was impressive and very rarely done, but there's a lesson for everyone to learn here. Spending lots and lots of time doing regular,
everyday things with our children – like making and eating dinner and cleaning
up afterwards – isn’t that what enriches our lives and relationships, removes
distractions and promotes values.
Hi Nirja, very well-expressed! Work of any kind is therapy, and household chores give you a bonus - best way to stay trim!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs Raj. Busy and busy that surely is therapeutic.
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