A NEW BEGINNING
Having gone
through it the first time I thought it was going to be easier this time around.
But I was just deceiving myself…handing over my little piece of heart to
someone I have never met before is one of the hardest, most traumatic moments
of one’s life, I have now realised.
Every article,
every book out there talks about separation anxiety felt by a toddler the first
day of playschool or kindergarten, but very few if any mention the distress felt
by a parent when he or she sees her little darling being carried away in a
stranger’s arms into a strange new place.
It was
heartbreaking to see my son’s beseeching eyes full of questions, full of
terror, full of fright…his total shock and bewilderment at why I was leaving
him behind in a place he had never seen before.
That day I asked
myself the same question again and again. Why did I have to do it? I couldn’t
even begin to imagine what he was actually going through, what he was thinking
about. I can still picture him (actually I cheated and was seeing everything
hidden from his view) crying his heart out, sobbing, going crazy missing his
parents, wondering why we were not there with him, why we had abandoned him and
when we would come to take him back home.
More so, when as
a parent you are not at all confident about the new school, the new teachers
and the environment you are leaving your child in. It’s been over three months
and I still feel scared and have butterflies in my stomach taking him and
dropping him at school. My heart breaks into a million little pieces seeing him
sitting on his bench all alone (he is the only one I see among all those
angelic faces) without me in the classroom. What if he needs something and the
teacher or her assistant don’t understand him, what if they shout at and scold him,
what if he gets hurt, what if he feels ill? I am not there to wipe his tears, I
am not there to shoo away his fears and the worst of it all, and I am not there
when he needs me the most.
I can really understand the feeling of a parent as I can really understand the feeling of a parent as all three of my kids (Chanchal, Pari & Parth) had gone to PG in a period of just six months. We were really worried how they'll react to this new environment... Will they really feel comfortable...? or feel scared...? For first 7 days when Parth & Pari cried while sitting in the van... we used to regret why we have made such an early decision to send them to PG.... After all they are just 2yrs old !!!
ReplyDeleteBut now, when we see them hopping around reciting WHAT NOT we feel WOW!!! Hope you too are on the same boat now...:D
Nice and realistic narration.... Thanks for reminding of events happened around 4 months back....